keller murphy
head boy

You & I | Ingrid Michaelson

Well, you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else
So I will help you read those books
If you will soothe my worried looks
And we will put the lonesome on the shelf
#fuck #kellona #this is the perfect kellona song: simple happy just love

Fireproof | One Direction

I think I’m gonna win this time,
Riding on the wind and I won’t give up,
I think I’m gonna win this time,
I’ll roll and I’ll roll, ‘till I change my luck
#okAY but before you dismiss this #just listen: it's their new song #and it sounds like fleetwood mac {and the beach boys} #fuck #just listen #and if you hate it after you listen then okay fair enough #i bet you $100000 if you listened to this without knowing it was 1D you'd like it #music


Keller’s seventh year was a tumultuous time, not just for him, but for the entire school — but he managed to make it through to the end in one piece. It began rather simply: Keller was continuing his position as prefect, one that he held with pride, and feeling rather nervous about his seventh year. His previous year, which had seen a fair amount of drinking and experimenting, was slowly trickling into his seventh year - Keller had more than a few memorable occasions of drunken recklessness out in the grounds which resulted in his friends needing to come and fetch him. Keller also continued to feel confused about his sexuality: after a talk with Nolan, he came to conclusion that he might be happy with the label of ‘bisexual’ even though he wasn’t sure he completely knew if it was right for him. His friendships with those around him grew, especially with Caden Bell, the Head Girl, and Tobias Peregrine, the Head Boy. They were something of a team, and for the first time, Keller felt like he might actually be worth something — and as things around the school started to get tense, Keller wondered if he couldn’t put his huge brain to good use. But circumstances beyond anyone’s control meant that Tobias had to leave — and suddenly Keller found himself with the Head Boy badge pinned to his chest. This was a huge responsibility that Keller felt every ounce of: he stopped drinking {at least publicly} and tried to be more of a leader, and with Caden, he felt able to do this more steadily than if he had been on his own.
The year pushed on unceasingly, and Keller realised that he was somehow growing closer to Fiona Bordan, whom he’d had a crush on since his second year. Of course, he thought nothing between them would ever happen: he wasn’t the most outgoing or talkative of people, but after one fateful trip to the greenhouses, he and Fiona had emerged as something more than friends. Being with Fiona, earning her love, gave Keller more confidence than anything else could have: he wanted to deserve to be with her, and he wanted to make her happy, and Keller knew that in order to do those things, he’d have to work hard. But just as things started to become almost comfortable around Hogwarts, London was bombed — which sent Keller down a path of investigation and research that he never really came back from. In the midst of his search for answers, Caden was pulled from Hogwarts, meaning that Keller became the only Head of School, and the weight on his shoulders increased further. After that, it was something of a downhill slide of events and pressure — Keller’s health deteriorated as things around the school seemed to only become more suspicious, and Keller pushed himself to extremes in order to get the answers he felt they all needed. He would have done whatever it took to keep the school safe: they’d lost their first Head Boy and their Head Girl, and Keller felt responsible for every single one of them, whether they liked him or not. But it was a lot for Keller, who was mixing potions to stay awake, mixing potions to supplement food, mixing potions just to make it through the day.
Despite his fading health, Keller managed to organise a trip to London’s protest in favour and support of the oppressed werewolves that went horribly wrong. He felt responsible for each and every injury, and walking around the school after that and seeing people’s healing cuts and bruises was hard for Keller: but he didn’t hide; he wanted to look at each one so that he’d never forget what he did. His position as Head Boy had been shaken by McGonagall’s thorough shake down, meaning he was already on fragile ground as the school pushed into the last months of term. After Lowell’s visit, the end seemed to be closer in sight than ever before: NEWTs were announced, and after a hard two weeks of studying where Keller’s tenuous health seemed to slip even further, he managed to achieve O’s in all of his subjects — not the first ever, but a point of pride for him nonetheless. The graduation ball was hosted, and Keller, as Head Boy, was asked to open the dance and did so with Fiona by his side — and the night was a blur of festivities and goodbyes, with promises to keep in touch with those he had come to know well over the last seven years. While Keller was sad to be leaving Hogwarts with possibly never coming back, he couldn’t help but look back on it all with pride: no one had died while he was Head Boy; no one had gone missing; he himself was in one piece {barely}, and he had Fiona and his friends surrounded him as his reward. The train left Hogwarts for the last time, and even if Keller left a little part of himself there, he knew that what came next would more than make up for it.
#guess who never finished their timeline and now has a complete picture to write about~ #i think i might do a timeline for each year that we're jumping forward... #not sure~ #we'll see~ #timeline

THROUGH THE DARK | in celebration of the second anniversary of keller murphy

i. flaws - bastille
ii. reel around the fountain - the smiths
iii. miracle mile - cold war kids
iv. harder than stone - city & colour
v. the winner is… - devotchka
vi. beekeeper - keaton henson
vii. through the dark - one direction
viii. let it be - the beatles
ix. elevator song - keaton henson
x. cloud - sia
xi. black flies - ben howard
xii. across the universe - the beatles

{ l i s t e n }

#so proud of myself for this assemblage tbh #two year anniversary #fanmix #p.s don't even try to front about the 1d inclusion #if it had've been 'what makes you beautiful' then maybe i'd agree w/ you

Wouldn’t It Be Nice | The Beach Boys

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older?
Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long,
And wouldn’t it be nice to live together,
In the kind of world where we belong?
#kellona #what a great simple song #music


Summer was approaching quickly – there were suddenly weeks left, not months – and Keller could feel the end in his bones, crackling like an electricity that gave him hope and life and energy for what felt like the first time in months. He knew that there were several hurdles to jump before he was able to properly enjoy the summer: there was, first and foremost, his NEWTs, which wouldn’t be easy in the least, and after that, there was graduation. Keller, with Atlas trotting along by his side, walked down the hallways of Hogwarts, standing tall and almost thrumming with energy as he thought about the end. He would miss Hogwarts – that was never in doubt – but he was excited about what came next; his thoughts drifted to Fiona, to St. Mungo’s, to working for something that was bigger than the castle he lived in. It was when Keller looked around at the school now, he realised just how long he’d been there – it was when there was no longer stone or metal or wood, but memories and laughter and injokes with his friends pressed into every corner. Of course, there were the bad memories: spots of stone where he’d bled or fallen or stood, feeling humiliated or scared. Hogwarts was more than just a school now, but instead something like a living, breathing pensieve of memories that Keller accessed every time he stepped out of his dorm room, and that’s how he knew he’d been there too long – and how he knew it was time to move on. Hogwarts would always be, in some sense, home; it would always be that place where Keller had lost, and then found, himself, multiple times over, working his personality and his memories and his knowledge into a shape that resembled the person he was now, and there was no way to categorically make sense of that. Atlas, jogging along with his blue collar on and a tiny bell, glanced up at Keller as they approached a fork in the path, and Keller pointed to the door. “Outside, I think,” he said, and Atlas moved ahead to the closed door and pawed at with his tiny grey paw before Keller pushed it open, and fresh air suddenly overwhelmed him, and he stepped out into the courtyard. Walking out into the open, Atlas dashing ahead to chase a few leaves blowing around, Keller revelled in the sunshine and the air, closing his eyes as he breathed deep the feeling of approaching summer that clung on the breeze. The north seemed to be promising summer on its heels, and when Keller shaded his hand against the sun high in the sky, he looked toward the mountains, trying to imagine where the seasons hailed from – where summer was currently lurking, lying in wait for the perfect time to descend. “C’mon,” he said, whistling to Atlas, who stopped rolling on his back with a leaf in his paws to jump up and over to Keller happily.

Read More

#two year anniversary #summarising a year is really hard without making it 5000 words long
#HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLER #omfg i'm going to puke #two years OFFICIALLY #god #GOD #sweet moses you are part of my soul #don't fucking cry #photos



Several months ago NEWTs would have been consuming most of his thoughts, though several months ago NEWTs seemed to mean something more than they did now. It was almost depressing when he came to accept that his life wasn’t particularly heading anywhere, he had no desire to be anything or do anything, and the best option he had been given was to impress to his greatest ability and sign up for the Ministry like so many of his family had before him. So there were really only two options, do nothing or do what was requested- expected even- and neither seemed to hold much value for him. He smiled slightly as the Ravenclaw spoke, it was comforting to think there was no control in anyone’s lives, as little sense as that made in his mind, “No, philosophical is good. Philosophical suits you actually.” He wasn’t sure if Keller was attempting to cheer him up or assure himself that there was always ways of changing how things are but either way he found himself frowning again. “There’s no decision without some form of sacrifice but some decisions are worth it, I’m not sure how you decide if things are worth the sacrifice.” Attempting a reassuring smile he gave a small shrug, “There are ways out for most though I imagine others are much more self sacrificing then I am.”

Though Keller had no idea what it was that he and Tyler were waxing poetic about, he still managed to smile when Tyler said that philosophy suited him. Shrugging, Keller said, “to be honest, I’m not sure what I’m even talk about half the time — why anyone thought I’d be good in leadership positions astounds me.” Self deprecation aside, Keller saw that whatever was plaguing Tyler was a legitimate problem - it was bigger than whatever half-assed advice Keller could have given, but because of that, he didn’t know how to help — not meaningfully anyway. “As for what’s worth the sacrifice-… I guess love? Happiness? For me, I’d-… I’d sacrifice almost anything if it meant keeping my family safe or Fiona safe,” he said. “I guess realising what your priorities are is important? Like-… uhm— do you value your own happiness over that of your family’s or your partner’s? And if you do, that’s not wrong — of course, everyone has a right to be happy — but if you do, then there’s nothing you won’t sacrifice to secure your own happiness, whereas if you’re prioritising theirs, then you need to realise that that’s what you’re sacrificing: yourself, and your happiness.” Keller felt oddly philosophical after his small monologue, and he dropped his eyes from Tyler’s face and dark eyes to look at the books scattered around the table, wondering if perhaps Tyler was looking for a career change. “But whatever the problem is, I think you should definitely do what makes you happy, Tyler,” Keller said seriously. “You deserve that — and nothing should hold you back.”




He had hoped being in the library would help him think, there was no where else in the school that he felt perfectly comfortable and though the fact was slightly sad it made things seem much simpler- to have just one place that mattered rather than many. It seemed at time that Keller was the only other student who understood that the library was more than a room full of books- it was a sanctuary- some people had religion, others their families and he had a library and the books housed inside it. He felt guilty as the other sat down, which felt slightly ridiculous though it wouldn’t be the first time he’d felt guilty for expressing his frustration. “NEWT studies.” The words left him softly and in an embarrassed realization he looked back to the books in front of him, he hadn’t done any preparations for exams for weeks now but he wished that could be the excuse. “It’s not the exams, I mean they’re definitely distressing but I’ve not thought much of them actually,” He could have easily lied but having unintentionally almost made Keller leave he felt he owed a better explanation then a lie, “Do you ever- It just feels like I’m fighting to make changes in my life that are already decided for me which makes all the effort so pointless but to not try seems- Do other people feel so out of control?”

Keller wasn’t sure if he should be worried about Tyler or not - he had just admitted aloud that he wasn’t focusing on his NEWTs, and for a student about to graduate and the wizarding world on his own, Keller wondered if there wasn’t somethig actually quite wrong with Tyler. “That’s fair enough,” Keller said instead, shrugging one shoulder as though the idea of not studying for the biggest exams of their life didn’t send him into a panic. Tyler’s next words made a frown pull itself onto Keller’s face - the feeling of living a life that wasn’t in your own control was something that Keller had felt, but not of late. “I think a lot of people feel out of control,” Keller said, still frowning in thought. “I think we all do, to a certain extent? Not to get uh-… philosophical, but if you think about it, our lives are determined by forces largely out of our own control - time, accidents, coincidences, other human error-…” Keller shrugged again. “But I think you’re referring to something more specific… but nothing in your life is so permanent that you can’t change it if you don’t want to,” Keller said seriously. “There’s always a way out from it, there’s always a window of escape, I promise you that. Sometimes you have to be smart about it, andother times you have to be sacrificing, but-… I have to believe there’s always a way.”

#just when you thought you'd replied to something #tumblr says you never did #my apologies~ #tyler